Addiction…Pressure, Remembering Whitney

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Cissy Houston gave me life watching her special, one thing I would like to point out, the pressure of this world, it is very real. The women of Cissy’s time (grandmothers and such) gave it straight and didn’t hold back, and when a child doesn’t take heed to the words of wisdom bestowed or rebels against them is stuck at a crossroad. (Not saying Whitney rebelled). But she was at a crossroad between addiction, which is her real life, and sobriety that is fantasy, that meaning it was not her real life. Life that is chaotic can also appear normal if not on the outside looking in. Not everyone is fit for the responsibility that comes with being a celebrity, or even that comes with just being…pain is part of being. And everyone plays a role, typical of families in the minority tend to brush everything under the rug, let’s pretend that there is no addiction. Well if my addiction came about because of my pain and my pain is my being but it goes unacknowledged, how do I deal? My addiction is to get rid of my pain, but it’s only temporary because I don’t know what the permanent fix is. One must be careful because nature’s permanent fix is DEATH.

Long Time…Been Missed

Where to begin…as recently…all has been dull and void. The thoughts…the images…where to begin.
As I secretly lust for you near the corner store, this is not love, and I do not care to have your soul. I want to begin with the physical, starting from below to above. That’s where I’ll begin. It’s been a long time now…been missed. When your lips brushed up against, you don’t know of my feelings or my kiss. Oh how I want and squirm for release in my world…this mortal coil. To toy with me and play…so unfair…you could just walk away. But this corner store is my net. And I’ll catch you, watch you slip. And I’ll breathe you. And I’ll need you. And I will release you…can’t keep you…I want to be missed. Torture your soul in fantastical bliss. Wondering endlessly in my net, searching for a little “honeysuckle.” But I am the Brown Recluse, brown skin. And when I suck and release venom that is your end. I’ll squeeze the most out of you, and the next can have the rest. Your search will lead to nothing…I would be your best. Incomparable, ego, a catch
Only a dream…where to begin…sternly placed at my net
Been a long time now…been missed